The TV Randomizer
Starsky & Hutch: Season 3, Episode 20 – “A Body Worth Guarding”
Hey y’all! Been a bit, but I’ve got such a treat for you today! Starsky & Hutch is truly one of The Shows of all time and I even got a little overwhelmed with love again as I was picking out screencaps.
I got inspired by a friend of mine with a podcast who recently covered “The Psychic.” You can check it out on Spotify here.
Breezy 70s groovy music plays as the Torino cruises down an LA avenue.
“You ever wonder why?”
“Why what?”
“Life.”
JESUS CHRIST, HUTCH. It’s only Season 3, you’re not supposed to be this despondent yet. Starsky agrees, it’s too early in the morning for existentialism. Hutch says he’s looking for more in life than just rote breathing. Coming from Hutch, I think this might be a marriage proposal. Starsky says his meaning in life is hooking up with this hot chick he’s got on the books for that night. Hutch calls him a hedonist.
“Just so long as I’m enjoying myself.”
The episode could stop here and it’d be a stone cold classic in my books. Starsky looks so happy and relaxed! Hutch is on one of his ‘what does it mean to be human on a daily basis’ kicks. They’re so in love. The sun is shining, the birds are singing…
They amble into the bullpen grumbling about something or other and head to the coffee. They spend the rest of the scene holding and sipping mugs which I find oddly domestic and endearing. Hutch looks around at the coffee booth and says he feels like there’s something missing. Like what, asks Starsky. If Hutch knew he wouldn’t feel like it was missing.
“You’re very weird, you know that?” That’s why you’re perfect for each other, Starsky!
Dobey enters from his office and cuts the small talk. They’re too late to pick up a memo Dobey left on their desk for a new assignment. Actually, it was left on Hutch’s desk, since we all know he’s the only one who checks his inbox. They are ordered to be security for prima ballerina of the Russian ballet, Anna Ahkanatova. Why are two dudes from homicide on security detail? Maybe Hutch put in a special request because he’s gazing longingly at the photo as he suddenly realizes his life has meaning.
Starsky is wearing a shirt with a beaded pattern down the front (every button undone, as was god’s intention) which I’m not sure works with his excellent light brown leather jacket. (Hutch is in his black leather jacket over plaid over his signature Hutch green tee.)
Starsky makes my point about being homicide detectives (hey!) and Dobey shuts him down by pulling rank as sassily as possible.
ACT ONE
There’s an establishing shot of the ballet theater that night featuring a promotional cutout of Anna that I wouldn’t bother mentioning except that it later becomes a plot point. Inside at the performance, Hutch and Starsky are in the balcony watching stock footage of Sleeping Beauty. I’m assuming it’s the balcony and not just standing room in the back but it’s a little unclear since no one seems to be fully sitting. Both their ties are utterly ridiculous but at least Starsky’s is rainbow.
He’s my favorite classy bitch.
Starsky compliments Anna loudly and Hutch shushes and corrects him as if he’s seen any major theater production in the last few years between getting caught under a car for three days and almost dying of the plague.
Hutch pretends to be annoyed he can’t bring his boyfriend anywhere. (“That’s a grand jete, turkey.”) Then goes on to compliment her “elevation.” Starsky concludes that she has more moves than Muhammed Ali.
Hutch looks ready to kill but a) Hutch canonically enjoys boxing and wrestling as much as Starsky, b) it could potentially be death by making out.
The show ends and the audience gives a standing ovation. Hutch tosses out some, “bravas!” and Starsky does a very cute thing where he observes Hutch and then mimics a “brava” of his own.
Outside, the cardboard cutout of Anna is stolen and delivered to the backseat of a mysterious car that drives away.
In her dressing room, Anna is brushing out her hair and decompressing with her coach, Natasha.
“The Americans love me, no?”
Natasha responds by immediately putting her down and critiquing her performance. Anna counters that even the papers call her a star.
“Stars are made by nature in the sky, ballerinas are made by hard practice on this earth.” Ok, Natasha rocks.
There’s a knock on the door, it’s our boys. Starsky takes the lead while Hutch anxiously closes the door behind him and folds his hands.
Starsky butchers Anna’s name immediately and she grouses about it. Hutch tells Starsky to take a step back by putting a hand on his arm.
[Side note/rant: One of the major delights of this show is how the two of them communicate so often without speaking. The show is full of so many little touches I can’t begin to capture on paper and it adds so much to their characters and relationships. It’s the touching, yes, but also the way they look at each other, position themselves, walk next to each other. It’s a crash course in nonverbal communication as well as slash fodder and the show truly wouldn’t have the same heart without it.]
“Maybe because it’s not his native language,” Hutch says of Starsky, although wherever Starsky’s family is from originally it’s gotta be closer to the Russian/Eastern Bloc than Hutch’s. My headcanon is Polish Ashkenazi. Hutch makes a flourish of pronouncing Anna’s name correctly. Anna, much like anything Hutch ever does, replies with condescension, asking if Hutch is from The Soviet. This is enough to make Hutch fiercely hate her forever.
Starsky puts on a smile and explains they are “from the police.” His face falls as he realizes the police won’t be receiving a warm welcome.
Anna complains that America must be a strange country (true) because we want to kill our artists (also true). Hutch supplies that the two of them are there to protect her, not kill her. She counters that in Russia a ballerina would not need protection.
“As long as she agrees with the policies of the state.” OOF. Right for the freedom-of-speech gut.
Anna reminds Hutch that she is a guest and not interested in his American opinions, “Mr. Hootch.”
Hutch eyes flash as he threateningly points and corrects her pronunciation. Starsky quietly puts Hutch’s arm down. Natasha suggests they ban politics from discussion (is this coming from the writers room?) and introduces herself to Starsky. She raises her hand for a greeting kiss and he goes in for a handshake. They’re adorable together. Yet still, everyone is icy cold as poor Starsky is left to hopelessly try to lighten the mood and get everyone moving to the hotel.
Hutch and Anna’s eyes meet at the door, he opens it and goes out first. Anna whirls around in disgust.
Outside the stage door is a protest demanding freedom for Russian Jews. Hmm, maybe not great timing for this recap. But we press on.
Two shady guys dressed all in black are in an alley observing the protest.
In the next shot of the protesters a guy is wearing a FANTASTIC sweater. He’s out here demanding human rights but by god he’s going to be cozy. This is the right of the chosen people.
Hutch exits first, surveys, and guides Starsky and Anna outside. Anna’s fuzzy coat is SO CUTE.
Shady guy number one points and signals to shady guy number two, who nods.
Anna, sarcastically: “Welcome to America.”
Hutch: “At least we’re allowed to do this here.”
Starsky wants them both to quit it already. He also has absolutely nothing to say about the Jewish protests which is an incredibly wasted opportunity. Maybe not this scene in particular but for the episode as a whole. We’ll get back to that later.
They guide Anna over to Starsky’s car while one of the shady guys pushes through the crowd to try to…interfere? Get as close to Anna as possible? It’s not clear what the goal is because he doesn’t have a weapon or anything. Hutch punches him in the stomach, everyone piles into the car, and they take off, watched by the other, senior, shady man.
As they pull up to Anna’s hotel, Anna is clearly shaken by the protestors waiting to hurt her. Starsky makes small talk about Russian ice cream (oh Starsky) as Anna pulls her key to open the door. Hutch snatches the key out of her hand and walks in first.
Hutch checks out the suite, apparently opening the door to a very pungent smell in the back. He okays Starsky and Anna to come in and the two of them watch Hutch walk right into a pane glass door just like a confused bird. He asks Starsky to check the bedroom.
Anna is extremely annoyed by all this caution as she can’t go about her normal routine. Hutch finally lets her pass through, they exchange terse words, and she slams the door. Things are great!
Starsky is like, what the fuck is happening here I thought you wanted this assignment. Hutch is like, yeah but I hadn’t met her yet. He’s clearly very agitated and it’s at this point that I think that Starsky catches on. Anyone who can get under Hutch’s skin like this obviously means Hutch is attracted to them.
Starsky calls her beautiful and Hutch goes on another rant about how life has to mean more than just skin deep beauty. He then complains about how he hates being talked down to. Yeah, okay, I’m just going to leave that one. Bless Starsky for loving this man. So which one should take the first night shift while the other works the case? Hutch volunteers. Hah.
A bullet goes through the cardboard shoulder of Anna. We’re in a shooting range somewhere presumably secret. The senior shady guy says the gun’s sight is off and hands it over to an older man to adjust it.
“Do not give me orders,” says the man in a heavy German accent. They square off. The shooter adds a “please” of submission.
ACT TWO
Later that night, Hutch is spread out on the hotel couch. It occurs to me that everything is very beige. Even for the 70s. The couch, Hutch’s light brown pants, the light grey wall. With both Hutch and Anna’s hair light blonde hair in this episode we see nary a color.
Speaking of, Anna walks in in her night jacket and pajamas. They awkwardly don’t speak as Hutch sits up. Anna restlessly lounges against the fireplace, then over by the balcony, then walks back and forth. Finally, she says she cannot sleep with an enemy in the house. Hutch says he’s not the enemy but then calls her “lady” in such a way that I probably would have slapped him. Anna complains that Hutch is rude (true), hateful, doesn’t let her go through doors first, pushes her into cars, takes keys out of her hand…she doesn’t seem to have any of these issues with Starsky or understand any fundamental police safety procedures. I think she just likes riling Hutch.
“Listen to me, comrade,” Hutch says, taking the bait. He goes through doors first because anyone who wants to kill her will have to kill him first because he’s good at his job. Debatable (especially for this ep and most of season 4) but it’s also important to note his face looks hilarious here. Like he’s feverish while trying to be threatening. Anna continues to struggle with the concept of bodyguards.
At the shooting range, the sight on the gun has been fixed. The hitman croons that it’s perfect. The two men exist a secret door into the German man’s well-appointed parlor room. Hitman is chomping at the bit to go through with the assassination. German says it’ll be tomorrow, perhaps. They have to make sure the newspapers print the letter first. Hitman suggests adjusting their plan and going after the Russian premier instead. But no, he’d be soooooo well protected. The German is cleaning out the barrel of the gun while Hitman sits by his side like a puppy dog.
They argue a bit more but the final word is: “The Jews must be blamed.”
Wow, thousands of years of history just spelled out like that.
They can’t risk a member of the conspiracy plot being caught and identified as a fascist instead of a Jew. Hitman presses his point and the German slaps him for talking back. My boy, what did you think discipline and punishment would be like in this fascist organization??? You signed up for this, you psycho!
Back at the hotel suite of mutual attraction, a gentle saxophone plays as Anna makes a peace offering with a cup of tea. It’s not clear if Anna understands what a job is, she seem to take Hutch’s willingness to be hurt as a personal favor. They both talk at the same time. They agree to try to be friends but they’re already looking at each other like they want to rip clothes off. How to start being friends? Hutch pauses, looks her up and down. “Tell me a secret.”
“Why?” Anna asks.
“Because only friends should have secrets.”
Okay y’all, not gonna lie, this episode is 100% for the Hutch girlies. He looks so cute and acts so sweet with Anna, and it’s the last sort of vulnerable, soft, romantic Hutch we see for a long time. He seems to be enjoying himself here and I find his relationship with Anna to be realistically playful and sexy. He is full of so much love and for a little while it’s not shattered by the universe. Maybe I should hate this episode because it exposes what a cheesy romantic sap I am but it makes me so genuinely happy. Hutch and Anna aren’t torn apart by their tragic lives, they’re two adults who find joy and comfort in each other for a while and that’s also kind of great to see on television. Again, I can’t stress enough, it’s an extremely sweet side of Hutch. It’s definitely not for everyone and not why anyone tunes into an action show (the plot is ‘two hot people make out a bunch’) but this one works for me.
Anna’s secret is she loves to talk about herself.
“No,” Hutch feigns surprise. “I never would have guessed.” But a laugh escapes him.
Anna giggles back.
This moment seems to cement their mutual crushes and we cut away.
Starsky is waiting at The Pits for Huggy. Huggy demands to sit in a booth near the back.
“There are worse things than being seen with me.”
“And better.”
Huggy says Starsky looks weird. A little lopsided. Is it because he’s still in a sports coat from the ballet? I think that and his slacks are throwing off his groove.
No, it’s because Starsky is missing his ‘& Hutch.’ Huggy also calls Hutch a beach boy which is great because now I’m imagining Hutch shirtless and surfing. I don’t think he’d go for it though. Huggy finally asks where Hutch is.
“Guarding a dancer’s body and liking it less than spit.” Oh, they’re swapping spit already? Starsky cheerses.
“You’re crude, you know that?” I wish people would stop telling Starsky how he is and isn’t.
Starsky is playing these investigative scenes pretty deadpan and hard boiled. I wonder if he just caugh a Sam Spade movie on the late show. He wants to know who hired the two muscle thugs. Huggy suggests it’s the same people doing the picketing.
“The JOA,” Starsky surmises. The Jewish Organization for Action.
“I suggest you check out the Desert People.”
Wait, so are they flirting? None of the dialogue suggests flirting but it feels like they were flirting.
Hutch and Anna are cozy on the couch as Anna tells a story. Hutch guesses the ending and demonstrates his knowledge by doing a walking handstand and collapsing by the fireplace. Anna follows suit. Very corny carnival-type music underscores everything. I genuinely enjoy watching the feats of athleticism and the spirit of their competition. They’re on the floor, facing each other in front of the fire.
Anna points out they have almost the same color hair.
Hutch: “Fascinating.”
She says if they ever had a child he would look like a snow bank. Hutch whispers that she would look like a sunrise. Whoops, I’m in love with him again.
Their hands play with each other gently, until Anna takes Hutch’s in a grip.
“I’m very strong,” she challenges. Honestly, I love this girl. Make them work for it.
Their clasped hands sway back and forth as Hutch didn’t really have arm wrestling in mind.
“You’re putting me on,” he says.
“What means, ‘putting me on’?” Anna asks in a way that makes me think she knows exactly what it means. Hutch tries to deter her again.
“I will win,” Anna declares. So they go for it.
They make adorable faces as Anna takes an early advantage and puts all her weight behind her arm. But Hutch eventually overpowers her and Anna tumbles over so now Hutch is looking down at her. They finally lock lips.
ACT THREE
Morning the next day, and Anna’s robe is strewn across the floor. Anna and Hutch are wrapped around each other on the couch with Hutch’s shirt undone. I love how many lazy morning afters we get on this show instead of night of’s. I know it’s all about censors and whatnot, but it also naturally favors emotional over physical. A knock on the door wakes Hutch (oh yeah, he’s at work) and he puts an arm around Anna and rolls her to the floor in a defensive position.
In a panic, he grabs his holster from where it’s laying on the side table and runs to the door. He’s so offput he can’t get the gun out smoothly. He charges through the door and yells “reach,” at a bell boy, who loses his entire shit.
“You can have all the newspapers!”
Hutch weakly tries to recover by saying it’s a licorice gun and he was just kidding. Then take a bite of it, Hutch. He closes the door on the situation.
Did I mention his shirt is unbuttoned and he’s wearing his star and moon necklace? Sigh.
Anna giggles at his failure and teases him, causing Hutch to giggle too.
“Don’t you laugh at me, Anna.”
She asks him to call her tadchik, a Russian middle nickname for ‘someone who cares.’
“Tadchik.”
They kiss.
“Again.”
“Tadchik.”
They kiss.
“Again.”
The scene dissolves over them.
Another doorbell rings, at what looks to be a mansion. The German greets the hitman at the door, who is waving a newspaper. He’s delighted because the papers have printed the fake letter sent in.
“I can do it today, right?”
In response, the German takes the gun out of his special inlaid gun box and attaches the silence. Or a sight. Or something like that. Regardless, the answer is yes.
Starsky arrives to trade off duties with Hutch. He uncharacteristically is waiting outside the door instead of barging in. Anna and Hutch are back on the couch making out. It’s a lot of this for the rest of the episode. Hutch has to fend Anna off from advances in order to respond to Starsky. Absolutely same, girl.
“It’s your better half,” Starsky announces through the door, possibly still pondering Huggy’s comment.
Hutch is trying to put his shoes on but Anna won’t stop covering him with kisses.
“Are you alright?” Starsky asks.
Hutch can barely get a word out between giggles. He tries to move Anna back toward her bedroom.
“Not until you kiss me.” Which he does while pushing her into the bedroom and shutting the door.
His tie is on the lampshade.
Hutch puts on his holster, looks down and realizes his shirt is still untucked and unbuttoned.
“Be right there, Starsk.”
“Take your time.”
It has been at least five minutes. Especially noticeable because these two seem to immediately answer the door for each other.
Hutch opens the door with a mismatched button, half his shirt untucked, no belt, unzipped boots and a bale of straw for hair.
Starsky (in his professional elbow pad corduroy jacket) gently asks, “You okay?”
Hutch tries to play it cool. Starsky takes in the pillows on the floor and errant clothing. Hutch’s gun was left on the table separate from his holster.
“No trouble?”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Hutch says, taking the gun back and playfully pointing it at Starsky, who mock surrenders. Even as a joke, I’m not sure policemen are allowed to do that.
Starsky continues his gentle interrogation, taking in everything in the room. He leans in really closely over Hutch’s ear and asks, “Is she up?”
Hutch fakes a kind of ‘who?’ expression and then says he thinks she’s in the shower. The shower water suddenly turns on.
Starsky throws Hutch’s tie in Hutch’s face. I enjoy how unfazed Starsky is by all of this. He seems to agree that the light little affair is good for Hutch. That’s true compersion.
After Starsky puts an inside out jacket sleeve to rights, he sits down on the back of the couch to stare down Hutch. They share a quiet moment.
Starsky tells Hutch he can split and get some rest and he’ll take care of Anna. Hutch refuses.
“What.”
Begging for distraction, Hutch points out the shower is over.
“You’re acting very strange lately.”
The phone rings.
Starsky stares lovingly at Hutch.
Anna enters in a towel and perfectly dry hair.
“Darlingk?”
Starsky’s expression stays the same.
Anna calls him Mr. Starevsky and disappears.
Starsky mimics her. “Darlingk.”
Hutch, still wide eyed, mind racing, exclaims, “Telephone!”
It’s Dobey.
Page Four in the newspaper has a letter claiming that unless the Russian Jews are freed, Anna will not return home alive. Starsky and Hutch immediately sober up and get down to business.
Dobey wants someone on Anna like white on rice. Hutch claims the job (can white be in rice?) sending Starsky out for more intel on the streets.
Anna appears again, dressed, and expects to go to breakfast and rehearsal. Starsky informs her of the change of plans, the assassins will be expecting her at the theater so she can’t go. Also why is there rehearsal on a performance day. She puts up some resistance but Hutch steps in. There is some lunatic out there who wants to kill her.
“You will not permit that, Hootch.”
No, but she has to cooperate with them so they can work.
“Your eyes are the color of the Belaya River. How can I say no?” Listen, Anna just gets me. And props to her for being brave enough to say that to his face.
Starsky stands between them as they gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes.
“Belaya river eyes, huh?” Making Hutch blush but not drop Anna’s hand.
Starsky pauses at the door and turns back. “Hootch.” He winks at Anna.
In some ways this feels very similar to Gillian where he recognizes how much Gillian loves Hutch too and is happy to be a third party for a while.
Out in the hallway, Natasha arrives to pick Anna up, but Starsky runs interference. He takes her arm and carries her off to tea.
Later, at the JOA, the Torino pulls up in front. Starsky tries to pass through two men outside, but even with his badge finds it difficult.
Why doesn’t Starsky ever change into jeans through all this? It’s the day after the theater. I demand more butts.
Starsky tries gaining entry by threatening violence, which I’m sure goes over very professionally. The guards demand a warrant. Which like, hell yeah. Starsky & Hutch tends to frame these civil liberties as hurdles to justice instead of, like, basic rights to privacy.
Kaufmann, the guy who Starsky wanted to talk to, pokes his head out and states that the armed guard has a permit, he doesn’t want to talk to the police because he’s too busy, but he does want to see the other guy who was waiting. Goodbye.
“See you around,” Starsky says, rather weakly, and walks off.
Over at Venice Plaza, there’s a gentle strum of guitar. Anna is padding around the airy, light-filled apartment in her rehearsal clothes while Hutch watches from his seat on the back of the couch and noodles around on the guitar. It’s a very languid, cozy atmosphere.
Anna goes to sit by him on the couch proper and puts a head on his knee. They make some conversation about Hutch’s playing and Anna asks him to sing the words.
The song “I Wish I Was…” is on David Soul’s second album Playing to an Audience of One and it’s…fine. But it’s not acoustic or half as emotional as this one. I find David’s released music to be overproduced and self-conscious but every time he performs on the show to be absolutely magical. Maybe because he’s playing as Hutch? I’m not sure. I can only conclude he was a much better performer live. Which absolutely sucks for me, but so it goes.
It’s a sweet song, and having it live on set makes it feel real and special and there’s somehow none of the awkwardness felt when someone is playing a song for you and you just have to sit there and listen while figuring out what to do with your hands. By the end, I am a puddle on the floor. The Hutch girlies won, I’m telling you.
They make out some more.
At the precinct, the cops have nabbed Kaufmann for interrogation which seems incredibly harsh for a simple protest leader and Starsky is sent in to deal with him. Kaufmann denies any involvement, saying that they are against the oppression of Russian Jews in every possible way but they “don’t hurt dancing ladies. That’s for fools and fascists.”
“What do you mean, fascists?”
Kaufmann lays it out for him. If Anna is murdered, the people will blame the Jewish Americans and antisemitism will rise again. The only people who benefit from that are fascists.
Here’s the thing: This feels like one of those weird eps where I wonder if the writers forgot Starsky is Jewish and Paul gave up on fixing the script. The Judaism was never overt on purpose, because TV, and it is mostly about what Paul brings to the role – but something this far off the line feels egregious. It’s infuriating to me that this scene happens with Starsky, specifically.
Even with explicit representation not allowed on screen, this just makes him look like an idiot who doesn’t understand the fundamental truths of Jewish persecution. Everyone is out to get us all the time, regardless of how ‘safe’ in society we are. Jewish paranoia has been twisted into justifying inexcusable and heinous things but you can’t deny we have thousands of years of history to back us up and give us pause. There could have been a much more interesting conversation happening in this scene between a Jewish activist and a Jewish cop instead of Starsky getting schooled on Basic American Judaism 101.
“You want to catch a criminal? Get the fascists.” Amen. This guy deserves a medal.
Instead of apologizing in any way, thanking the man for solving the case for him, commenting on the rise of antisemitism, or the fact that the Fascist Party of America seems to be framing Jewish people and everyone is falling for it, Starsky threatens the guy again and leaves.
Yo, what is UP with Starsky this ep??? He’s so sour and moody when he’s not with Hutch.
Starsky pulls up outside the door of Love Nest #2 at Venice Place with Natasha. He rings the doorbell first with no response and then reaches over the mantle for the spare key. My ‘Hutch’s apartment is a public facility’ theory is that Hutch wants Starsky to have constant access but Starsky’s ADHD means he will lose any spare key .254 seconds after receiving one. So Hutch keeps the key available over the door and if that also means that any crook or gangster can waltz right in, well then that’s the price of loving Starsky. The key’s not there for Starsky to find so Starsky knows Hutch is home.
“Hey, open up. It’s the law.” Hee.
On the other side of the door, Hutch and Anna are on the couch on top of each other again. In the foreground is a little cupid’s kissing statue that I just noticed for the first time on this watch. Hutch’s shirt is unbuttoned again, wheeeee. Anna is wearing one of Hutch’s shirts over her costume like a letterman jacket. They get up and while Hutch answers the door, Anna starts tidying her hair in a full mirror which I don’t think is usually in Hutch’s living room.
Starsky wants Anna to cancel the show completely since everyone will know where she’ll be between the hours of 8 and 11. But Anna knows she has to perform. She won’t even let Masha (Natasha’s nickname used for the rest of the episode) be a decoy in and out of the theater.
The whole gang arrive at the theater and some beat cops help them push through the gathered crowd. Starsky turns back at the stage door to track down Kaufmann. He forces the guy into his car under protest, which honestly sucks. Starsky baits him by suggesting he could help with “catching not killing” a fascist and Kaufmann is all in. Starsky thinks the only way the murderers could get close to Anna is by turning the protest into a riot. He calls her, “Anna what’s-her-name” to a total stranger which is kind of hilarious. The goal is to pre-empt the infiltration and subsequent riot before it can even begin.
Hutch and Starsky are back in the balcony watching the second night of the performance. Hutch’s expression is a ton of concern mixed with admiration.
“What do you think?”
“I think she’s beautiful and you’re a lucky man.”
“No, I mean outside.” Will the plan work? They’ve got to hope so.
It’s a very small thing but it’s another example of how these two are equally likely to put personal in front of professional. In Starsky’s mind, Hutch was equally likely to be asking his opinion on both subjects. Hutch doesn’t appear offended by the confusion. These two are close.
The ballet ends and they share a long look of apprehension. Outside, the Hitman waits in the same alley as before, watching the protest.
Masha wants to wait until morning to leave but Anna refuses to be trapped by fear and wants to help Starsky and Hutch catch the culprit. The first half doesn’t make much sense when you know someone is specifically targeting you but I can understand wanting the plan to get the guy arrested to work. Masha compliments Anna’s performance and Anna thanks her for all her teachings. Things are dire.
Starsky, Anna, and Hutch exit the stage door. Two big thugs start barreling through people from the back of the protest.
“Get them!” Kaufmann yells from the crowd. Protesters swarm the invaders. Even though the distraction has already been identified and is being attacked, Hitman brandishes his gun from the alleyway. Hutch and Anna are in the crowd in front of the car when a shot goes off. Hutch puts them back on the ground.
“Huuuutch!” Starsky screams. Starsky races through the crowd as people start bowling each other over to get away. Another shot goes off. Anna’s kneeling behind a wheel of the car and Hutch finally has his gun out.
Kaufmann runs over to the alleyway and disarms the hitman with his protest sign. Starsky gets up from the being knocked over and stops the struggle between the two men, grabbing Hitman and handing him off to a uniform to get cuffed. Hitman is blabbing and mentions Steinmetz or something which I guess is the German’s name that we’re just learning now. So he’s cooked too. Whatever.
Starsky thanks Kaufmann and says he owes the guy a favor. Then asks the protest to be shut down peacefully which he just…does? By yelling ‘shalom’ a lot? I guess it’s a crime scene now. All in all, it’s a very disappointing and underwhelming crime plot wrap up. I liked Starsky and Kaufmann working together but there was hardly any action or tension or anything. I never really felt like Anna was in danger at all.
Hutch helps Anna up from hiding and they share a hug to calm their nerves.
EPILOGUE
Hutch is gazing forlornly out the back terrace of the hotel room in a very comfortable looking blue hoodie. Anna asks for help closing her suitcase. He gets Anna to sit on the suitcase. While he’s working on the latches, Anna threads her fingers through his hair lovingly.
“I will miss you, Hootch.”
She asks him to come to Leningrad and he says he will someday. They both know the real answer.
“Do you love me a little bit?”
Hutch looks up at her. “I love you a lot of bit.” Awwww, you guys. I’m a mess.
Starsky and Masha walk in to announce the limo to the airport has arrived. Starsky is in jeans again and all is right with the world. Starsky makes a show of helping carry the bag. Anna insists she can carry it herself.
“Starsk, she’s very strong,” Hutch warns.
Starsky can’t believe them so Anna stops everything to prove a point to the American. Arm wrestling, let’s go bitch.
“Come on, Starevsky.”
“It’s STARSKY,” he says, kneeling down over the suitcase to meet her. Hutch sits down on the couch to watch.
Starsky spits in both hands (gross) and Hutch mutters, “that’s not going to help.” Hee.
Anna and Starsky’s arms battle back and forth and it could probably go either way, but pretty soon Hutch lends a helping finger in Anna’s favor, sending Starsky to the ground and, conveniently, into Hutch’s shoulder. We freeze frame at them looking at each other. NOW everything’s right with the world.
6 thoughts on “Starsky & Hutch: Season 3, Episode 20 – “A Body Worth Guarding””
Fantastic post, I really enjoyed it! I don’t normally like this episode, but you’ve given me a new appreciation of it.
And we all agree about the flirting between Starsky and Huggy.
Wow, thank you so much, that’s a huge compliment!
And it’s good to know that the Starsky and Huggy vibes were super clear to everyone else too.
No writers rooms back then
No, but the idea of it with all the producers and editors still holds. And soap operas and sitcoms had writers rooms, it just hadn’t made it over to dramas yet.
Great write up!
Personally I think the camera operator should have gotten paid extra for staring at all the various earth-toned patterns in that hotel set.
And you’re not alone in thinking Huggy and Starsky are flirting!
Thank you! The inexplicable tension between them in that scene was insane!